Thursday, January 17, 2013

"How To Meet Shy Girls" or "Stalking and Bullying Because You're a Sissy if You Don't"

Remember this douche? The guy that I already blasted in a previous post? Well, because I'm a glutton for punishment, and out of morbid curiosity, I started browsing around the rest of his site, and came upon this little gem. And if possible, it is even worse than the first one.

Let's not waste time, shall we?

Why you would want a shy girl
Extroverted girls are just too forward. There’s nothing for you to do as a man. They’ll just come running to you. You’ll ignore them for days or weeks in a row and they’ll still be calling and trying to see you. It’s too easy to seduce outgoing girls. You’ll meet them and then be in bed with them 45 minutes later. You don’t have to work for anything. When you don’t work for anything you don’t care about it, it means nothing. There’s no hunting involved so you just don’t care. A shy girl, on the other hand, takes some work to get. You will have to be the hunter rather than the hunted, as nature intended you to be.'re saying it's a bad thing if a woman shows any outward interest in spending time with you? I'm honestly surprised if that's ever happened to you.

Shy girls do not tend to have sky high over-confidence and are more down to earth and downright easier to be around. I’m sure you have been spoonfed all this baloney about girls needing more confidence, well they don’t. They have far too much artificial confidence and that’s one reason they cannot keep a boyfriend and one reason why they are mentally unbalanced and rely on pharmaceutical anti-depressants. A shy girl isn’t necessarily immune to all this, but there’s a good chance she is.

Yeah, women don't need confidence! It's not like guys are routinely saying that every natural instinct a woman has is wrong and they need to constantly keep changing to suit the needs of every guy she meets! That doesn't screw a woman up or anything!

Shy girls do not typically have the black girl attitude of “I don’t need no man. I’m as strong as a man. I’m just as good as a man. I’m just one of the guys.” or any of that bullshit. 

It just wouldn't be a complete article if he didn't say something racist too.

How to spot a shy girl
Shy girls tend to….
  • dress modestly
  • avoid eye contact
  • speak quietly, mousy
  • walk with feet pointed inward 
  • giggle when uncomfortable
So,  you're saying that the kind of girl that guys should actively seek out are the ones who are not interested in you, are showing no outward signs that they even want to talk to you, show outward signs of discomfort while around you, and are pretty much terrified of you? I'd count the red flags, but I don't have that many fingers.

A shy girl is not going to walk by you on the street and say hi and start a conversation with you. She may make eye contact with you and if she likes you then you will see, in a split second, her eyes will brighten. This is an “eye smile“, it’s a look of hope and expectation that you will speak to her. When you get an eye smile that means a girl is interested in you.  If you catch an eye smile you should stop the girl and make any excuse to talk with her, (if you like her, of course). The simplest thing to do is ask directions. “Hey, do you know where blah blah is? Is there a food court here? My copy of the Holy Bible is worn through from so many readings, do you know where the bookstore is? My t-shirt has split at the biceps and I need to buy a larger one, do you know a good clothing store?”

If ANY guy tried any one of those lines with me, I would point and laugh.

Religious girls are often shy and modest, but only the truly religious. Just because a girl says she’s “christian” doesn’t mean anything. Most Christian churches are emasculated “girl power” factories. Unless her church is one that is made fun of by all-knowing atheists, i.e. mormon church, then it is highly likely she has no moral or religious values. If she is an active member of a cool-to-hate church like the mormon church then she is probably not faking her religious devotion. If she is religious in the face of mockery then she is not one who gives in to temptation.

And this just got even more creepy really fast. Let's see how far he can go! HE COULD GO ALL THE WAY!

Shy girls will often be described as pretty, rather than beautiful or hot. You may luck out and find an ugly duckling, a girl that previously had acne, wore goofy glasses and braces, was fat, or was sickly as a child. These girls can sometimes grow up to be quite beautiful but have the mentality of the ugly girl. You have probably heard that fat girls make good girlfriends for the same reasons. The people that have this saying neglect a few things: fat girls are disgusting to look at and have bad personalities and are grossly over-opinionated. A shy girl will often be skinny or lean and they aren’t prone to over-eating.

Grossly over-opinionated?! I resemble that remark. :D

Shy girls are everywhere. At the sandwich shop, at the bookstore, at the gym, at your workplace, on social media websites and on dating websites. A few months ago I was stuck overnight at LAX international airport. I happened to be stuck with a shy girl, a recent immigrant from Vietnam. She had been in the States for 6 months. She was a pleasant girl, petite, nice and chipper. She wasn’t beautiful but she was quite pretty and had a petite, lean body. I asked her what she did and she replied “nothing. I’m waiting for my work visa. Now I just stay in my apartment all day.” In Asia she’s just a regular girl, but in America she would have been a catch. If any guys had spoken to this girl they would have put her under lock and key pretty fast. This girl was free and certainly would have done all the cooking and cleaning necessary, as well as been a pleasant, easy-going girlfriend who would brighten some guys day.

Why do I get the feeling the term "lock and key" isn't a metaphor?

A shy girl may very well want to go slow. She will need to comfortable around you. She’ll say “I’m not ready“, “You’re too fast“, or “Can we take it slower?” and you’ll sure “absolutely. I understand“. There are two types of women who say things like this. Genuinely shy girls and used-up ex whores who are trying to trap a man. A genuine shy girl is, ahem, shy and doesn’t want to get naked and grunt like an animal for fear of being embarrassed. A used-up ex-whore is playing a game with you.

Your job is to TEST the shy girl and make sure she is true to her word. If she says “I want to wait” but then lets you ram her 12 minutes later you know she isn’t a “good girl” and you can start your search again. If she rebuffs all your charming advances you know you probably have a good girl on your hands. To test her you must touch her. Always touch, touch, touch. When she says “I want to go slow” you will say “Yes, I understand” but you will always be trying to get in. The more she resists the better she is. If she can resist a suave gentleman such as yourself that is near proof she is resisting every Joe Cool and Suave Johnny that comes long.

NO NO NO HELL FUCKING NO. I can manage to joke about a lot of shit this guy says, but that seriously sends the creepy meter up to eleven. So, you're saying that girls who say "Hey, you're going too fast" are inviting guys to touch them more and go faster? And if the girl happens to respond to the guy going "hey, have sex with me" positively, its HER FAULT for enjoying it and not your fault for pressuring? FUCK YOU. Women are not creatures who have to push down their natural impulses and men are not primates who just "can't help it!" (I do think you're an ape, but not all men have that "women have it coming" mentality that you do.) Seriously, this is sounding like you're all but forcing yourself on this woman who barely showed any interest to you in the first place and - oh good god this is breaking my brain.

You don’t need to act like a nice guy dweeb to get a shy girl. You don’t need to keep your hands to yourself and “respect her boundaries”. You need to be the aggressor, like a gentleman caveman. Shy girls aren’t touchy feely. You need to touch her so she can get used to your touch. When you walk through a door or up a set of stairs put your hand on the small of her back. When you walk through the shopping mall put your hand on the nape of her neck. When you walk through a crowded area hold her hand or wrist. When you ride in an automobile put your hand on her thigh. She may push it away this time, and maybe next time, but eventually your hand will always stay there. Eventually she will not only be used to your touch, but she will expect it and crave it.

On the NAPE OF HER NECK??? That would TERRIFY me, no matter what guy it was! And you're saying AGAIN that even if she's pushing your hand away and telling you "no" that it's just more of an incentive to keep going?! Good god, this is pretty much "manipulative rapist 101!" And training her to be more docile is so fucking creepy I can't even begin!

Keep at it. Shy girls aren’t bold enough to say “I like you so much. I can’t wait to see you again!“. They probably won’t ever come out and say it. Simply assume that she likes you since she is meeting up with you. Keep making plans with her every few days to week(s) for as long as it takes. She may invite you to this event or that event and she may not, don’t let it worry you if she never initiates contact or tries to make plans with you. Let her come along with you in your world.

And again, even if they don't want you to be a part of your daily lives, they're still totally into you! So keep stalking!

When you finally do get in you’ll have the pleasure of saying, into her ear, “you’re my property now“.
Happy hunting,


Thank god that's the end of the article, because I need to go buy mace. But before that, shower. Long shower. Loooooong shower.


  1. "My copy of the Holy Bible is worn through from so many readings, do you know where the bookstore is?"

    "Hey, baby. I don't know the first thing about properly caring for books, but you can still totally trust me to properly care for you!"

    Most Christian churches are emasculated "girl power" factories.

    Y'know, this guy's so right. When will the awful Religious Right stop pushing women's rights on us??

    When you finally do get in you'll have the pleasure of saying, into her ear, "you're my property now".

    Remind me to never play Monopoly with this guy.

    1. "Hey, baby. I don't know the first thing about properly caring for books, but you can still totally trust me to properly care for you!"

      Well played, sir. You can tell a man's worth by the way he treats his books. :)

      "Y'know, this guy's so right. When will the awful Religious Right stop pushing women's rights on us??"

      I know! It's positively shameful!

      "Remind me to never play Monopoly with this guy."

      But if we play Monopoly with him we're in the clear, since stress brought on by Monopoly games counts as justifiable homicide!

    2. Urgh ... I read the posts and *did* waste time! Exactly what you told me not to do : o /